And another thing…
“The storm had now definitely abated, and what thunder there was now grumbled over more distant hills, like a man saying ‘And another thing…’ twenty minutes after admitting he’s lost the argument.”
~ Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish42
Between the end of 2008 and the early months of 2009, I completed a series chronicling the story of how I began studying Mormonism, in some detail. I ended that series with a post wherein I created what was essentially a list of things I don’t like about Mormonism, or the top things keeping me out of the church. As the year has passed, I’ve come to a realization.
I really, really hate how I ended that series.
Something has definitely changed about me in the last year. With a few exceptions, I don’t like “lists” of what’s wrong with other religions anymore, don’t like hearing them and don’t like composing them. I’m trying to be more cautious and compassionate in discussing the problems I see in Mormonism (and other religions), but in general I’m trying to minimize my discussions of such issues in favor of discussing the things I love about my own religion.
It occurs often enough in my relationships with Latter-day Saints that someone will want to know why I’m not Mormon, and that’s usually how the question is phrased: “So, why aren’t you Mormon?” or “Why haven’t you joined the church?” For years this question made me cringe and I struggled to find a satisfactory answer to it.
For starters, there’s room for me to be offended by the question itself because the phrasing implies that I’m in the wrong for not being Mormon. “Mormon” is the answer to the ultimate question and I’m somehow deficient for having missed it. Personally, when I’ve done evangelism, I haven’t gone around asking people why they aren’t Christian; I’ve asked them about what they do believe and then attempted to share my beliefs by building on what they tell me. The average Mormon doesn’t ask me anything about my beliefs outside of, “If you’re not LDS, what are you then?” When I respond with, “Evangelical Christian,” they say, “Ah, okay,” and whether or not they understand what that means, there ends the inquiry into my beliefs.
However, I’m generous enough to understand that most people who ask me the “Why aren’t you Mormon?” question aren’t intentionally trying to be offensive, so I’m willing to let that go.
Some people who ask me that question actually are asking me to explain what it is that’s kept me out of the church. They want me to start listing problems with the church because they assume that all problems with the church must be trivial and they’re sure they’ll be able to settle my issues for me. When I was taking the missionary discussions, the missionaries even asked me to make a list of my issues with the church and give it to them.
Unfortunately, these conversations never go well either, since the people who ask typically have no idea just how convoluted and troubling LDS history can be. I wind up with one bewildered Latter-day Saint on my hands who thinks I’m either a liar or I’ve been duped by anti-Mormons. Generally our relationship gets rockier after conversations like that, so, really not a good option.
The solution to how to answer this question and not offend people finally came to me last year. It’s ridiculously simple. I was almost embarrassed that I hadn’t thought about it sooner.
So, why am I not Mormon?
I’m not Mormon because I’m an evangelical Christian, and Mormonism isn’t evangelical Christianity. It doesn’t have all of the things that are in evangelical Christianity that I love, and it has added things that aren’t in evangelical Christianity that I don’t love. I’m not Mormon because I genuinely believe in the things that I believe as an evangelical Christian, some of which are incompatible with Mormonism, and I love being what I am. It’s nothing personal.
We could go into more specifics than that, which would inevitably hint at things that I see as “problems” in Mormonism. I could tell you that I love the fact that callings in my church are based strictly on gifts and not guided by gender. I could tell you that worship through music is a sacred experience for me and it’s important that the type of music resonates with me. I could tell you that I love being part of a priesthood that includes all believers and extends back on through two millennia of history, connecting my own life to the lives of believers throughout the ages. I could tell you that I prefer a church polity that puts significant decision-making power in the hands of the local body of believers.
All of those things are true, and one could read between the lines to create a “list” of things that don’t work for me in Mormonism if one wanted to. But I think such a list is much less confrontational since it’s focused on what I love about my religion, not what I don’t like about yours.
I hope that my series has made it clear that there are a lot of things that I do admire in Mormonism. I’m glad that my journey has put me into regular contact with the LDS church. It’s refined me and made me a better evangelical Christian, and I’ve been enriched and blessed by my relationship with the church in so many ways.
I do worry about the LDS church. I have my concerns, which I’ve talked about in other places. I’d like to see the church reform someday to the point where it can be accepted into communion with the rest of the Christian world (and yes, I’d like this even though I know there are plenty of Latter-day Saints who would say they don’t want this right now).
Whatever the case, I am very grateful that God has led me to you. If you are LDS, please let me know if there’s anything I can do to have a better relationship with you.
And so ends my series. On the right note this time, I hope.
Comments
And another thing… — 49 Comments