When my Catholic friend converted
Tuesday, January 29, 2002I talked to a girl in my martial arts class named [Rita]1 today. She’s not LDS, she’s Catholic, and she’s taking the missionary discussions right now and she has questions for me about why I didn’t join the church. I’m amazed and thankful that God’s put her in my life.
It was during my third semester at BYU that I met Rita, and I liked her immediately. It was easy at BYU to forge an alliance with any non-member who came along, but Rita came from a troubled family just like I did, and we both thought our martial arts teacher was hot (he was!), and we got along great. I remember going over to her dorm in Helaman Halls and watching the bootleg version of Fellowship of the Ring with her and her dorm mates. I was never overbearingly critical of the LDS church, but I did give her my list of reasons for why I was not joining the church. She seemed to listen and even agree with most of them, and I was sure that God had led me to her so that I could keep her from becoming LDS. That was how I thought at the time.
I kept in touch with Rita throughout February, but she began to miss classes due to her father’s illness. On Wednesday, February 27, 2002, the on-campus missionaries finally caught up with me—I don’t know how, I made an art out of avoiding them—and they mentioned, “Oh, so you know Rita? She’s getting baptized on March 9th.” I was stunned.
My entry for Thursday, February 28, 2002 reads:
[Rita] wasn’t in martial arts today, so I went by her place and dropped off a note. She called me later and says she’s been feeling really sad. After talking to her for a long time, she said she felt better. We had a great talk. It looks like she’s still getting baptized—but, she’s coming to Rock Canyon AoG on Sunday. And I’m going to her baptism, next Saturday. I already love her so much.
Rita did come to my church, and she had a blast, but she still seemed intent on going through with her plans to get baptized into the LDS church. She knew my objections, she knew what I believed, but she still wanted to do it. It tore me up inside, but I felt like I had no choice but to respect her decision and love her just the same. What kind of friend would I have been if I didn’t?
She gave me a note on the day she came to visit my church. It said:
Hi Jack,I just wanted to say thanks for so many different reasons. First of all, thank you for always thinking of me. It’s always nice to know there’s somebody that cares. Also, thank you for helping me catch up in class and listening to me when I needed someone to talk to. I also have to thank you for the hundreds of nice gestures (i.e. invites, cookies, etc.). You are without a doubt the most wonderful and kind person I’ve met here at BYU. I admire how you always say hi to people and introduce yourself. This world would be such a happier place if there were more people like you.I find it so hard to believe that people didn’t like you when you were younger, because EVERYONE loves you today (sorry I’m getting so messy). Anyway, I just had to say thanks to you for being there, or I would’ve gone CRAZY!!Please never change. Always keep that wonderful heart that you have.Well I Guess I’ll be seeing you in Martial Arts class with our Gorgeous teacher.
My journal entry below it says:
She’s getting baptized this Saturday. Maybe God isn’t moving in her life the way I want Him to. But He’s moving in her life, I promise.
I came to her baptism on Saturday, March 9, 2002. My baptism gift to her was Wake Me for the Resurrection by Robert Kirby and Pat Bagley. Rita went home not long after that and missed most of the rest of the semester because her father died, but when she came back we were still friends.
My experience with Rita was something of a paradigm shift for me. I had done everything I could to stop her from joining the LDS church, had been her best friend, but in the end she had still done it. Did she make a bad decision because she was emotionally weak from her father’s illness and death? Or did God really want her in the LDS church at that time?
I tell people that I would prefer to see the LDS church reform to orthodoxy from the inside rather than trying to pull people out of it one at a time, but how can reform from within ever take place if the people who can make that happen aren’t members of the church themselves?
Something else went under the water when Rita was baptized and came back different with her: the last trace of my black-and-white prejudice that traditional Christianity is always good and Mormonism is always bad.
1 As usual, not her real name.
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When my Catholic friend converted — 3 Comments