Misadventures in Moving Episode 1: The Utilities & Internet

So here’s what I’ve been dealing with the past few days in trying to prepare for my move.
EarthLink
EarthLink is my current Internet and phone provider. I get DSL, free long distance anywhere in the US or Canada, caller ID and voice mail all for about $70 a month—I know I get a ton of other minor features like three-way calling, but I never use those. I can barely locate one person to talk on the phone with me, let alone two at once! Anyways, the first thing I did when I found out my new apartment address was call EarthLink and explain that I’d be moving  next week and I’d like to find out if my service can be transferred to Illinois. They said, “What will your new phone number be?” I blinked in disbelief. “Um, I just told you that I want EarthLink to be my new phone provider.” They explain to me that my new home has to have a line already associated with it in order for EarthLink’s VOIP to work. Essentially, they said I would have to sign up for a landline with AT&T, give them that phone number, then they would cancel my AT&T account and take over—but I’d still have to pay AT&T’s set-up fees and probably the first month of service, about $44.
Something wasn’t right though. EarthLink still hadn’t even told me if they could do service in my area, and every time I asked they would ask for my new phone number. “Look, there has to be a way for you to look it up by zip code or something! I’m not gonna sign up for an AT&T basic landline only to be told that you don’t even do service in my area,” I said in exasperation. They had to transfer me to a completely different department for that. Finally someone looked it up by my address and confirmed that there is no Earthlink service in the Vernon Hills area.
Now, don’t you think they should have told me that before they had me calling around trying to find a cheap basic landline? Are they in bed with AT&T or something?
My griping aside, EarthLink is actually the best ISP I’ve ever had. Better than Comcast (we’ll get to them in a minute), much better than Clearwire (incompetent, product barely functional) and Qwest (the Satan of ISPs). They’re by no means an awesome, devoted-to-pleasing-the-customer company like NetFlix is, but they’re decent. I would use them again if I could.
Lingo
The first thing I did was search for a new VOIP provider. I found a promotion by a company I’d never heard of before called Lingo: Pretty much all the same phone features EarthLink was giving me for $4.95 a month for 3 months, then $21.95 a month. The only start-up fee is $14.95 for shipping of equipment. After double-checking to make sure there were no other hidden fees, I decided to give them a shot.
Now to find a new ISP…
Comcast
So I begin hunting for a DSL or cable ISP. I go to one promo site which searches ISPs for your address and all they have for me is Comcast. Hmm, that can’t be right. I’m 30 minutes north of Chicago; there must be other DSL/Cable ISPs in the area. Even Tacoma, the armpit of Washington state, has 5 or 6 high-speed ISPs in the area.
AT&T? Nope. Verizon? Nope. Cox? (My favorite name for an ISP!) Nope. Out of curiosity I even look up Qwest (as if I’d ever go back to them). Not a one. There are no high-speed ISPs in my area besides Comcast, only dial-up providers. I was surprised to learn that dial-up still exists. I haven’t seen a dial-up connection since high school.
There are three things I don’t like about Comcast: (1) They do everything in their power to force you to sign up for cable and home phone services as well as Internet. (2) They rape you with their installation fees. (3) They reel you in with all kinds of 6-month and 1-year promos, then rape you again with their price hikes. Once you get over the shock of being raped by all those installation fees and price hikes, you forget what an abusive boyfriend Comcast has been and start thinking he isn’t such a bad guy. Maybe you even start thinking that the sex was consensual all along.1
Case in point, their web-site was loudly blaring an Internet service promo of $19.99 a month for 6 months. Wow, $19.99 a month for cable Internet, sounds good, right? As I began signing up for it, I winced at the $99 installation fee. That seemed even higher than their usual ridiculous installation fee—and if you’re an idiot who doesn’t know how to set up your own wireless router for multiple computers, the installation fee was $149 (!). I got to the check-out where I was forced to chat with a Comcast representative who explained to me that the $19.99/month promo is only for customers who are also purchasing a cable subscription or phone service, each of which comes with its own ridiculous installation fees. I explained that Lingo was giving us a much better deal on phone service and we don’t use cable—between Netflix and the increasing number of television shows being broadcast on web sites, I hardly need more television. Besides, I’m a blogger. You guys are my entertainment!
The Comcast person says that if I absolutely must refuse their crappy phone and cable service, what she can offer me is Internet for $36.99 a month with an installation fee of only $50. Wait a second… the installation fee is “only” $50 if you’re getting the $36.99/month plan, but the exact same installation is $99 if you’re getting the $19.99/month plan? Yup, that’s right. Because you’re saving so much money under the $19.99/month plan, Comcast arbitrarily doubles your installation fee, which means you’re actually paying $28.16/month for six months. And if you’re one of those idiots who needed router set-up, you’re paying $36.49/month for six months. Woo, Comcast! Way to save the promo customers some money!
Anyways, Comcast isn’t installing our Internet until Tuesday, August 25, so we will be Internetless from Wednesday, August 19 until Tuesday, August 25th. Unless one of my neighbors in my new apartment has an unsecured connection I can temporarily steal from. Which I’m totally not above doing.
1 It’s probably really crass of me to compare ISP price hikes and installation charges to rape. But I’m doing it anyways.

Comments

Misadventures in Moving Episode 1: The Utilities & Internet — 12 Comments

  1. We’ve been with Comcast for three years, and we got the cable/internet/phone promo when we came here. Every year, when they jack up our prices, I call them and tell them I want the promo again. Every year they tell me that’s not possible. I ask to speak to their manager, because I won’t pay more for it and will cancel all my services.
    One time, they forgot to put me on hold while the operator spoke to her boss. The boss said, ‘Tell her again that it’s not possible, but if she really asks to cancel her service, go ahead and give her the promo again.’
    Yeah, big whoops on their part. :) And when they charge me for installation, I usually ask for a discount or ask them to knock off money or whatever. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but it never hurts to ask.
  3. Comcast has done pretty well by me… ever since I identified myself to them as a “business customer” and agreed to a three year contract.
    But don’t believe their residential promos for a minute. You’ve good a good caveat emptor lobe in that brain of yours.
  6. Earthlink was only fair, but I heard PLENTY of screams about A-O-Hell! We’ve had both AT&T and Comcast DSL, and Comcast was faster. But, it will likely be another world where you’re moving to.
    And, Sprint’s cell coverage is the worst of the 3 major providers in the west. I had no bars between Susanville, CA & Reno, but my brother’s Verizon cell had service. I’m not sure about the Midwest.
  7. KatyJane, that story is hilarious! You sound like you’re as bad as me when you wrangle with customer services. I worked a phone customer service job in college, so I know most of the tricks and all of the things customer service people don’t want to hear.
    I had Comcast for a while back in Provo, when my friend Laura who comments here sometimes was living with us. I remember the installation guy was late, so we called and got Comcast to agree to waive the installation fee. Then the installation guy showed up begging us to sign his paperwork saying he was on time because being late honestly hadn’t been his fault and he’d get in trouble if we reported him late, so we went ahead and signed his paperwork saying he’d been on time. I can’t remember if we wound up paying that installation fee or not. I do remember that price hikes and stupid installation fees aside, Comcast’s service was the fastest I’d ever had and seldom ever went out.
    EarthLink was perfectly up front about how much their service would cost. They never hiked their costs or had hidden fees or charges. On the downside, the service would randomly go out 3-4 times a week. Usually this could be fixed by power cycling the modem and router, but once a week I had to call tech support to get it fixed. Eventually I memorized the routine for fixing the problem and didn’t have to call them anymore. Not a great company, but not malicious like Qwest or totally incompetent like ClearWire.
  8. “Eventually I memorized the routine for fixing the problem and didn’t have to call them anymore.”
    I got to that point as well, Jack! That was with Comcast a few years ago, but they are better now.
    “…but not malicious like Qwest or totally incompetent like ClearWire.”
    Oh my. The incompetence is irritating enough with net service related companies. But, it won’t kill you. What’s really scary is that energy pipeline companies (and other hazardous industries) sometimes hire Managers who are clueless about what they do, leading to serious & fatal accidents. I’m a pipeline safety activist, and that’s happened several times in the US.
    “Yeah, big whoops on their part”
    I love it when a companies’ “slip shows”!
  9. I don’t know what’s the deal with Illinois and ISPs, but it seems like we can only get one in any given area, and Comcast has a stranglehold on the market. So here’s my horror story:
    My wife and I decided to sign up for Comcast’s High-Speed Internet service only. Got sick of relying on my neighbours to have an open network available and hey, our company pays the bill, anyway. So we get it, even though we’re paying $59.95/month.
    About a month ago we get a call from them offering a special promo: sign up for basic cable for just $10/month, and we’ll get our Internet bill lowered by $17/month! I was like, “Wait… So, instead of paying $59.95/month for the Internet, I’m going to pay $52.95/month for Internet AND basic cable? Seriously?” I didn’t believe it, so I told them I’d have to talk to my wife first.
    They called back, I wrote down the details, verified it numerous times… and agreed to it.
    After a huge amount of hassle just to get the cable hooked up and installed (another story), I get the first month’s bill… for $69.95. I was all like, “WTF? Where’s my discount?!” Called up Comcast customer service, and they tell me that no such promo exists. Seriously. So we are paying for basic cable (which kind of sucks), and still paying the same price for the Internet. Did I mention that the only reason we took the deal to get cable added was because it was going to lower the bill?
    Stupid Comcast.
  10. You should have totally filed a complaint with the BBB, Alex.
    The BBB doesn’t quite have the power it used to, but I’ve filed 4 complaints with them and 3 were settled in my favor. Probably a dozen other companies have buckled and given me what I want due to mere threats to file with the BBB.
  11. With “common carrier” companies, you don’t file a complaint with the BBB. You go straight to the State government’s regulatory agency and you allege a complaint of false advertising and misleading business practices.
    Then you file a complaint with the BBB.
    At least in my State, such a complaint triggers a required investigation process where the company complained against has a set amount of time to respond before the fines really start to pile up.
    You also have the right to reverse the change and get your money back for the higher bill. Do this awhile and eventually I think you end up on a “don’t mess with this customer” list.
  12. So here’s the problem I have with filing a complaint… it was all done over the phone and, of course, lucky me, any notes I took while talking with them are now gone. So, it becomes a matter of my word against there’s. Do I actually have any ground to stand on, then?
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