Misadventures in Moving Episode 1: The Utilities & Internet
So here’s what I’ve been dealing with the past few days in trying to prepare for my move.
EarthLink
EarthLink is my current Internet and phone provider. I get DSL, free long distance anywhere in the US or Canada, caller ID and voice mail all for about $70 a month—I know I get a ton of other minor features like three-way calling, but I never use those. I can barely locate one person to talk on the phone with me, let alone two at once! Anyways, the first thing I did when I found out my new apartment address was call EarthLink and explain that I’d be moving next week and I’d like to find out if my service can be transferred to Illinois. They said, “What will your new phone number be?” I blinked in disbelief. “Um, I just told you that I want EarthLink to be my new phone provider.” They explain to me that my new home has to have a line already associated with it in order for EarthLink’s VOIP to work. Essentially, they said I would have to sign up for a landline with AT&T, give them that phone number, then they would cancel my AT&T account and take over—but I’d still have to pay AT&T’s set-up fees and probably the first month of service, about $44.
Something wasn’t right though. EarthLink still hadn’t even told me if they could do service in my area, and every time I asked they would ask for my new phone number. “Look, there has to be a way for you to look it up by zip code or something! I’m not gonna sign up for an AT&T basic landline only to be told that you don’t even do service in my area,” I said in exasperation. They had to transfer me to a completely different department for that. Finally someone looked it up by my address and confirmed that there is no Earthlink service in the Vernon Hills area.
Now, don’t you think they should have told me that before they had me calling around trying to find a cheap basic landline? Are they in bed with AT&T or something?
My griping aside, EarthLink is actually the best ISP I’ve ever had. Better than Comcast (we’ll get to them in a minute), much better than Clearwire (incompetent, product barely functional) and Qwest (the Satan of ISPs). They’re by no means an awesome, devoted-to-pleasing-the-customer company like NetFlix is, but they’re decent. I would use them again if I could.
Lingo
The first thing I did was search for a new VOIP provider. I found a promotion by a company I’d never heard of before called Lingo: Pretty much all the same phone features EarthLink was giving me for $4.95 a month for 3 months, then $21.95 a month. The only start-up fee is $14.95 for shipping of equipment. After double-checking to make sure there were no other hidden fees, I decided to give them a shot.
Now to find a new ISP…
Comcast
So I begin hunting for a DSL or cable ISP. I go to one promo site which searches ISPs for your address and all they have for me is Comcast. Hmm, that can’t be right. I’m 30 minutes north of Chicago; there must be other DSL/Cable ISPs in the area. Even Tacoma, the armpit of Washington state, has 5 or 6 high-speed ISPs in the area.
AT&T? Nope. Verizon? Nope. Cox? (My favorite name for an ISP!) Nope. Out of curiosity I even look up Qwest (as if I’d ever go back to them). Not a one. There are no high-speed ISPs in my area besides Comcast, only dial-up providers. I was surprised to learn that dial-up still exists. I haven’t seen a dial-up connection since high school.
There are three things I don’t like about Comcast: (1) They do everything in their power to force you to sign up for cable and home phone services as well as Internet. (2) They rape you with their installation fees. (3) They reel you in with all kinds of 6-month and 1-year promos, then rape you again with their price hikes. Once you get over the shock of being raped by all those installation fees and price hikes, you forget what an abusive boyfriend Comcast has been and start thinking he isn’t such a bad guy. Maybe you even start thinking that the sex was consensual all along.1
Case in point, their web-site was loudly blaring an Internet service promo of $19.99 a month for 6 months. Wow, $19.99 a month for cable Internet, sounds good, right? As I began signing up for it, I winced at the $99 installation fee. That seemed even higher than their usual ridiculous installation fee—and if you’re an idiot who doesn’t know how to set up your own wireless router for multiple computers, the installation fee was $149 (!). I got to the check-out where I was forced to chat with a Comcast representative who explained to me that the $19.99/month promo is only for customers who are also purchasing a cable subscription or phone service, each of which comes with its own ridiculous installation fees. I explained that Lingo was giving us a much better deal on phone service and we don’t use cable—between Netflix and the increasing number of television shows being broadcast on web sites, I hardly need more television. Besides, I’m a blogger. You guys are my entertainment!
The Comcast person says that if I absolutely must refuse their crappy phone and cable service, what she can offer me is Internet for $36.99 a month with an installation fee of only $50. Wait a second… the installation fee is “only” $50 if you’re getting the $36.99/month plan, but the exact same installation is $99 if you’re getting the $19.99/month plan? Yup, that’s right. Because you’re saving so much money under the $19.99/month plan, Comcast arbitrarily doubles your installation fee, which means you’re actually paying $28.16/month for six months. And if you’re one of those idiots who needed router set-up, you’re paying $36.49/month for six months. Woo, Comcast! Way to save the promo customers some money!
Anyways, Comcast isn’t installing our Internet until Tuesday, August 25, so we will be Internetless from Wednesday, August 19 until Tuesday, August 25th. Unless one of my neighbors in my new apartment has an unsecured connection I can temporarily steal from. Which I’m totally not above doing.
1 It’s probably really crass of me to compare ISP price hikes and installation charges to rape. But I’m doing it anyways.
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Misadventures in Moving Episode 1: The Utilities & Internet — 12 Comments