I’m cured. I hate Mormons again.

Rejoice, counter-cult ministry! I see the light. I have come to rejoin your ranks and ask your forgiveness, and wish to join you in denouncing the foul, non-Christian cult known as Mormonism.
Today I visited the LDS ward of that filthy Mormon husband of mine, an experience I normally enjoy, but upon arriving and reading the program to see who the speakers would be, I saw this:
“Sacrament Hymn …….. #182
Administration of the Sacrament
Worship through Music
Closing Hymn …….. #63″
What? An entire sacrament meeting consisting of music? This I had never seen before. Evangelicals sometimes hold all-worship services of sorts, but I had never heard of Mormons doing it and wasn’t sure what to expect.
I soon learned that apparently a music sacrament meeting is actually a demi-testimony meeting. People are invited to randomly get up, talk about a hymn that they like, then the congregation sings one verse from that hymn. In the case of this ward, people usually spent much longer talking about the hymn they chose than it took to sing a verse from it. So it was much more like a testimony meeting than anything else.
Argh. Why would you people do that to me? I like your regular services just fine. I’m even okay with most of your hymns. I go out of my way to politely avoid your testimony meetings since I don’t enjoy those, and… and… you spring this on me. About 3/4 of the way through the meeting I was literally thinking, “Well, at least no one has requested ‘Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel.’” And then an elderly woman got up, and guess which song she wanted to sing?
So, that does it. I’m back to hating you guys. Truly you are deceivers.
I’m just kidding with you. There are plenty of hymns in the LDS hymn book that I like (“Called to Serve,” “How Great Thou Art,” “Nearer My Soul to Thee” and more). Most of the time I don’t even know which ones came from other Christian traditions and which ones are unique to Mormonism. And it was actually nice to see a somewhat different kind of service.
Since we’re talking about hymns we like today, this is my offering, “Thy Mercy” by Caedmon’s Call. My favorite verse is the last one:
Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own
In the covenant love of Thy crucified Son.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine

Comments

I’m cured. I hate Mormons again. — 13 Comments

  3. See, when I sat down to write this post, I had no idea it was a rare thing. My husband was still at priesthood and I figured it was some kind of annual event that the ward does which I’d coincidentally missed up until now.
    Good ol’ Mo’Tab choir. My favorite professor from BYU is in Mo’Tab.
  4. Oh, I just have to jump in and say that Caedmon’s Call “Thy Mercy” is indeed awesome. My wife met them on her mission in St. Louis, MO and we LOVE that song. It reminds me of a really, REALLY good EFY song. (I keep it in the playlist of my favorite EFY songs, along with Caedmon’s Call’s “God Who Saves”. I think this most Latter-day Saints would also appreciate this music but they “know not where to find it”. :) (see iTunes).
    I sang in the BYU Concert Choir, so I also really appreciate good choral music. I LOVE the Tabernacle Choir and generally enjoy all of our LDS hymns, given that they’re not sung too slow. I remember a General Authority on my mission (in Ecuador) stopping the Stake Conference in the middle of the opening song and demanding that “the songs of Zion be sung with the spirit of Zion!” A great organist really helps too. We’ve got one in our ward here in San Antonio and there’s never a dull song–especially the closing hymn. He jazzes it up (all in good taste) and it sometimes it ends up being the highlight of the meeting for me!
  5. Just supposing that these meetings are so rare they are probally inpromptu, as the people lined up to give talks for one reason or another where not present or available. Someone was quick to think of a way to fill the 30-45 miniutes after the Sacrement was passed before people expected to go on to their other meetings.
    My Favs always change due to my mood, right now: Be Still My Soul.
    -D
  6. My plans to poach commentators from other blogs are finally paying off! Muhahaha.
    Clean Cut: Wow, I would love to hear the story of how your wife met CC on her mission. The Calvinism in their music sometimes makes me wince, but they’re still one of my favorite Christian bands ever. Sadly the closest I’ve ever come to meeting them was being front row in front of the stage at one of their concerts during Creation Festival West ’99.
    I also visited your blog, and your family is lovely. Your wife and daughters are beautiful and you’re all very photogenic.
    Ditchu: That’s actually what I was thinking, that someone had canceled their talks and the bishopric had to come up with something to fill the time at the last minute. The guy who opened the meeting did mention that the ward conductor and pianist had no idea he was about to ask them to get up and keep leading songs.
    I like and respect the comparatively slow, reverent style that Mormons favor for worship and choirs, but it definitely isn’t how I would want to worship every week. I prefer a more upbeat style. At my church we usually have 1-2 people on guitar, some kind of percussionist, and sometimes a woman who can do some spirited violin playing (I love her).
    Still, I certainly don’t mind participating with the LDS church once a month.
  7. Bridget, you ought to check out Orson Scott Cards recent article over at “Mormon Times” about the ad hoc and low quality nature of Elder Quorum lessons.
    It’s titled “Quorum or Posse.” A Google search should nail it easily. It was pretty funny actually.
  8. Hmm, interesting read. What I know of priesthood meetings mostly comes from what my husband tells me, which is that (1) they’re boring, and (2) he likes to argue with people and challenge “false doctrine.” Yesterday he came home laughing about how he had schooled people on women and the priesthood and Judges 4. That’s my boy! Well, I don’t agree with his positions on any of those things, but he knows not to accept the lazy, all-too-common explanations on them (“women have motherhood men have priesthood, Deborah was only called to lead because the men at the time were unworthy” etc). I’ll have to see if I can get him to look at this article and comment on it. He really, really hates Orson Scott Card though…
  9. How ironic that people would criticize countercult groups for misrepresenting Mormons, and then turn around and misrepresent countercult groups as hating Mormons.
  11. Mormonism is such an integral part of my human identity that if you hate MormonISM, you might as well hate me.
    Ultimately it’ll save time.
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