ClobberBlog | Mormonism, Evangelical Christianity

I was only 16 when I looked up the contents of the LDS temple ceremonies using an Internet search engine, and the year was 1998. I can’t even remember why I did it other than that the Mormons told me not to do it. I guess I was one of those teenagers who would have done almost anything someone told me not to do just to annoy the party that told me not to do it, and the endowment sounded mysterious and strange and I wanted to know what went on during it.

I found a web site that had everything: pictures and drawings of garments and temple clothes, transcripts of what goes on during all the different ordinances, descriptions of the ceremony, and specific explanations of the tokens and signs. I read it all, and while some of it sounded creepy and weird (particularly the pre-1990 stuff), most of it sounded really boring. This was the pinnacle of the LDS worship experience, the secrets that Mormons covenanted to guard with their lives? It was anti-climactic.

Then a really strange thing happened. I felt guilty.

My guilt was hard to come to terms with. I wasn’t Mormon and I certainly hadn’t covenanted not to learn about or reveal anything that goes on in the temple. LDS temples had zero significance in my life, so why did I care? And yet, there it was. I found myself caring in spite of my best efforts not to, and I wished I could take it all back.

Mormons are going to read that and say, “Ha! The Spirit was convicting you of the sacred nature of the things you violated.” Well, I agree that the Spirit may have convicted me on this matter, but I interpret things differently. Having learned about what goes on in LDS temples has caused some Latter-day Saints to stop talking with me, while others have refused to believe I have sincere intentions towards them so that the message I try to share is hopelessly tainted. How can I be an ambassador of my faith if the people I want to reach are too offended by something I’ve done to hear me out? In that context, it’s perfectly reasonable to me that God did not want me sifting through transcripts of LDS temple rituals.

This post is not an apology. I apologized for what I did ten years ago. I’m done apologizing, and even if I feel guilty about having pilfered a knowledge of what goes on in temples, please understand that I have zero interest in ever experiencing those things for myself. Garments? I think they’re hideous. Temple clothes? They look ridiculous. And this thing where you get a special name and the wife has to tell her husband her new name but she doesn’t get to learn his? Well, that just bristles my egalitarian feathers. So I admit it, I’m a temple phobe.

Which brings us to the latest episode of Big Love, the one that has caused so much fuss by showing some of what goes on in LDS temples. I haven’t seen this episode yet, but I understand from reading the discussion at By Common Consent and Times and Seasons that the episode showed some of the actual signs and tokens from the ceremony, and this in spite of some other inaccuracies pertaining to the situation.¹ I’m left to conclude, based on the comments of others, that the inclusion of these things was completely contrived and gratuitous, done only to earn ratings and upset Mormons. Probably in retaliation for their role in passing Proposition 8.

Of all the things I learned about the temple rituals from contraband sources, the one thing I can’t remember is any of the actual signs or tokens. I think I’d like to keep it that way.

I’ve removed Big Love from my Netflix queue. I won’t watch this show.

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¹ According to the discussion at BCC and T&S, the following things were not accurate:

Barb (an inactive Mormon) goes to her active LDS mother and begs her to let her borrow her temple recommend so that she can “take out her endowment,” then later attends the temple with her mother and sister. You cannot get into the temple on someone else’s recommend, or at least you can’t do it that easily, and you especially can’t do it with that person. That’s also a continuity error as the show had previously established that Barb was once an active Mormon who married Bill in a temple. She would already be endowed.

While they are sitting in the celestial room in the temple, a temple worker tells them “your 15 minutes are up,” as if there is a time limit on how long you can remain in the celestial room. According to the discussion from faithful Latter-day Saints, you can stay in the celestial room until the temple closes if you like.

I’m wary of criticizing a show I have not seen very much of, but I cannot fathom why they would include the signs and tokens from the endowment when the plot’s premise for Barb being in the temple at all was on such shaky ground. Unless, of course, they just wanted to upset Mormons. Which is what it was.