ClobberBlog | Mormonism, Evangelical Christianity

Yes, I waited until January 2nd to say hi to you. And I’m not that sorry. I think it’s safe to say that I’m not all that enthusiastic to see you. Your sister 2008 was not very nice to me. My mother died, I got cellulitis, Barack Obama won the White House, the Republican party was just all around incompetent, and Pushing Daisies got canceled. The fact that you’re going to turn me 27, the last year for which I can claim to be in my mid-20s, already has me eyeing you suspiciously and wondering what kind of nasty surprises you have in store for me. People are fairly certain you’re going to be a bad year economically, if not a catastrophic one, so I don’t have high hopes for you there. Blizzard has already announced plans to nerf the Death Knight class, so I get to pin that one on you already. You’re off to a bad start, 2009.

(WARNING! Disturbing image of POOP below the jump! You’ve been warned.)

I guess that something about a brand new year is supposed to fill me with “resolve” so that I make all these high-minded “resolutions,” but truth be told, I don’t feel very resolved right now. I feel glum. I keep on wishing it was this time last year, when I still had a mother to hug. And besides, I never know what to promise you. I’m not fat so I can’t make one of those exercise resolutions like everyone else does. I can resolve to do a better job reading my Bible every day, but I’m supposed to be doing that anyways, so that seems dumb.

So, here’s what you get. It’s all you get.

1) I resolve to finish all three of my graduate school applications by the end of January, and from thereon out do my best to make graduate school happen.

2) I vow to be the best wife to Paul I can possibly be.

3) I promise to be the best mother to Harley I can possibly be.

4) I will attempt to read one book a week every week until classes start in Fall, at which point I will likely stop reading altogether and procrastinate on all of my assigned readings until two days before finals, then start trying to cram them all in at the last second because that’s how I do things.

So, there you go, New Year, take or leave it. Either way, screw you.